Wednesday, February 29, 2012

WOOT!

I weighed in on Tuesday at my 5:30 meeting. I lost 3.6 pounds last week! Even with the struggles I had with making excuses and so on, I still ate much better than I have been, and exercised about 4 times. That has so encouraged me!

I want to thank those of you who have taken the time to read my blog so far. Having the kind of accountability you provide (whether you comment or not) really makes a difference for me!

I'm going to make weekly progress reports based on how well I did at journaling, how well I did at exercising, and how many nutritional shakes I'm taking (really great for me and my whole digestive system), and finally, of course, pounds lost. I might go real crazy and do an inches lost thing too, because I know that how well a person isn't doing isn't always manifest in pounds lost.

Here is the progress I've made in my first full week of committing to weight loss:

Pounds lost: 3.6
Shakes taken: 4 (goal is 7)
Days exercised: 4 (goal is 4 or 5)
Days journaled: 5.5 (goal is 7)

Ooooo...pretty colors...that's new...

So it's a decent start! I used to force myself to go all in on day one, to change everything and not look back. Sometimes that works for me - like when I finally quit smoking. I just put them down and walked away one day. It's also what I did when I did Weight Watchers back in 2005. Just changed it all in one day (though I did not exercise immediately).

This time is different. I've tried and failed so many times doing the other method of just jumping off the cliff and hoping something sticks. This time, I'm allowing myself to blow it a couple of times - to not always reach my goals (like eating all the cheesecake on Friday, or getting Burger King unnecessarily on Saturday), but to get close and know that next week, I will improve!

This week, I feel really strongly that even if there is half a cheesecake in the fridge, I can eat one piece, instead of the whole thing. I can enjoy and not binge! I guess I will probably have to test that theory this week. I'm already testing it tonight. I've eaten 5 chocolate chip cookies since last nigh. That sounds like a lot, but I did have the points for them. There are 20 more cookies sitting out that I have not picked at. Will I have a couple more today? Maybe. But I'm not sitting down with the whole plate of them in front of the television (I'm ashamed to say, I've sunken that low before).

I already stayed within my points on day one of the new week! (my new journaling day starts on Tuesday morning). So here's to a great one!

<3 Annie (oooo Verdana italics...)

P.S. I'm still working on my post on journaling. I need to just finish it and post it. I've officially made it a bigger deal than it already is. Could use a few more of your thoughts!

ooooo highlighting........ 

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Excuses?

I read my last couple of posts just now. Then I thought about what this post was going to be. Another one where I had the best of intentions, then still made bad choices and what's a girl to do...blablabla.

If there is one thing this blog has done...it has probably really not done much for others trying to lose because, well, I keep blowing it. But what it HAS done is helped me see my glaring issues with making excuses on an almost daily bases.

Why did I eat like crap? Ohhhh I was traveling aaaaaand the only thing within 27 miles was a Burger King aaaaannndd they were out of lettuce ssooooo I couldn't have a salad with lite dressing...I had to have the Whopper Jr and a value fry aaaannnndddd when we got home from the party at 4am, I just had to have ham...lots of ham.  Cuz I was, ya know, kind of intoxicated aaaaaaaaand my stomach required ham-munching!!!

Why didn't I exercise? Wellllll my feet were all stiff and I was all slow-motionally like Neo when he's dodging those bullets in the Matrix and I would've all like, um, fallen off of the elliptical and stuff and whatevs...


I wouldn't blame anyone for leaving me. But do not! I am not hopeless. I have lost 75 pounds before! I know I did it with Weight Watchers! I know I did it in spite of all of the same restaurants and all of the same traveling and all of the Oreos in my parent's cupboard that I didn't HAVE to eat!

Today, I did well. So I will weigh in tomorrow at Weight Watchers and report back. Because even though I did go over the top some of my days....and Saturday was a "breaking the beaker" kind of chemical explosion day on which I didn't journal (it was the only one I missed), I did, for the first time in a long time, think about every thing I put in my mouth, good or bad. And typed in almost all of it.

I have a great post on journaling your food and exercise planned. If anyone cares to share your secrets, how you keep yourself on task with it, or why you think it is important, comment! I might use some of your stuff.  I think journaling is the most important thing you can do to lose weight...just sayin'...or maybe it's just me.

G'night.

Annie

P.S. I did eat Five Guys for the first time ever. I only had a single burger, though I did add bacon, and I had a serving of fries. It was 29 points for the meal, but I journaled EVERY last point and did pretty well on Sunday all around...exercise and all. I highly recommend it :-)


P.P.S.

If you've ever played Apples to Apples, and you are an adult, and you take absolutely nothing too seriously....then Cards Against Humanity is the game for you. My cohorts and I laughed until we cried. You can buy it on Amazon or make it for FREE out of the PDF's they provide. Amazing.


Saturday, February 25, 2012

Slowly Turning the Tide...

After my super-fail at work on Friday morning (oh yeah...add a bag of PB M&M's to the already gargantuan list), I was determined to get it right last night!

I march into work. I am armed with grapes, exactly 8 tortilla chips for my salty tooth, exactly 3 Oreos for my sweet tooth, a cup of chili, a grapefruit, cauliflower... I was SO ready!

My co-worker offered me Russian food. It looked weird so I knew that wouldn't be a problem (I am super cultural you guys). Then, before she leaves, she pulls out of the fridge a no-bake cheesecake with cherries on top!

RED LIGHT FOOD! Stop! Do not pass go! Do not collect 200 dollars! This is not good.

She had some of it, a few of the ladies had some of it, and she said to yours truly...here ya go! Have a piece. There was still like 4 servings in there! I was like, no I will not I will be good and not even touch it okay maybe one little slice okay i need to shave off the edges okay it's 3am and mmm that looks good...........

And it was gone. Gone like the wind. 24 points, down the hatch.

Luckily it was one of those Jello ones that are only 6 points a serving.

I glumly eat my chili, grapes, and everything else I brought. Journal the massacre as I stare at the empty pie pan. And then...I had a Rocky-on-the-steps moment and decided I would NOT let cheesecake beat me! I came home, I went hardcore on the elliptical for 35 minutes for 10 activity points...and now I'm getting ready for a nap so I can drink the rest of my points later (something I rarely do). Teehee.

In the end, was it worth it? No. I could've had 2 shamrock shakes for that many points! But it takes more than a day to turn the whole ship of bad decisions around. I wish I had just made a clean break from all of the crap, but just because I haven't, doesn't mean I am going to give up!!

I got this.

~~Annie

Friday, February 24, 2012

Kinda blew it this morning

I had a bit of a mental breakdown this morning. My attitude wasn't really right from the beginning to be honest. My points begin at midnight because of my weirdass schedule, so I go midnight to midnight with my day. I was gunning for food at 12:05 at work (worked a 10:30 pm to 9:30 am shift), and put down 14 points of tuna noodle casserole right off the bat.

This would have been fine...except I didn't really stop there. For the next few hours (I really need to start knitting or something), I put down whatever, including a 100 calorie pack of cookies that I didn't need, a bunch of spoonfuls of strawberry ice cream that I didn't need, a spoonful of peanut butter that I didn't need, ummmm oh gosh I'm not even remembering. I need to journal it now!

brb.

Chaco Tacos are 11 POINTS!! You have got to be pulling on my leg! Oye. Rule number 1. Know the points or calories before you put it in your mouth. Many times it just isn't worth it.

Here it is guys. I made a screen shot of my journal for you:


I am allowed 41 points a day, and have used 50. I was just hunting for food. It was ridiculous you guys.

Alright...deep breath. I got this.

We were discussing stress eating at Weight Watchers on Tuesday. One thing that really stuck with me was that exercising will power is a sign of maturity. Just eating anything and everything willy nilly is a sign of immaturity. Cleary, this morning, I was exercising immaturity.

I am back in control as of about 9am this morning. I do have many flex points left for this week, so I am going to allow myself to eat some Friday night pizza this evening to the tune of about 14 points. This will not wreck my week!

<3 Annie




Thursday, February 23, 2012

I am bored

Not bored with my blog. Bored at work. I enjoy what I do - I serve women with disabilities on overnights at a 6 person group home - but there is a point where the cleaning is done and rounds are not for another hour and I don't have anything to do. And there is a fridge. Full of leftovers. Or snackies. Like cheesecake. Or regular cake.

I'm telling you all of this because there is ice cream that is calling my name right now. I thought instead of eating it, I would blog until I got over it.

Just kidding. That would be the longest blog post ever.

I've thought of different ways to keep myself from eating those things. I've even gone so far as to ban myself from the kitchen entirely. Unfortunately, being in the kitchen is part of my job.

I need advice guys! I'm pondering bringing cut veggies that I must force myself to grab when I want the bad food. Yet I'm concerned that I will be able to very adeptly talk myself out of the veggies and into something that will put me into a sugar coma...

Gah.

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

My Vegas Calendar

I'm going to Vegas for my 30th birthday with excellent friends...I mean, where else would one want to spend their entrance into what I can only assume are the best years ever? Right? Anyone?

To help motivate myself with losing weight, I bought a clearance calendar from Target and made places to check boxes. I love love love checking boxes. I'm not sure why.

I screwed it up. I added check boxes to non-days this month. I can't wait to flip it over to next month. I have issues.

Small Victories

I think it's really important to tell yourself "good job" for small things. For example, today I had awesomely horrendous cramps. I know. TMI. But I don't care. The last thing I wanted to do was get on any kind of exercise equipment. Every time I looked at the elliptical in the living room today, it looked like some sort of medieval torture machine. But I took some Midol and sucked it up.

I survived 30 minutes on the thing doing a interval workout, and surprise! I feel miles better. Go figure, eh? So my motto today is, even when you feel like hell, do some exercise. Maybe you'll go from the 7th circle of hell to, I don't know, the 4th. Or 3rdish.

Now I have to get myself from the floor to the shower. When did every little jaunt become so difficult? When I became 95 pounds overweight? Yes I believe that's right. I can't wait to be able to hop up effortlessly! It's something the skinny people take for granted. I think. I don't know. Sometimes I dislike them all even though they did nothing wrong. Damn skinny people.

Welcome to me losing weight.

Hi. I am Annie.

I need to lose like 95 pounds, and this is where I plan to tell you about it.

I might get pissed, or really happy, or find cool stuff that helps me. Whatever it is, this is where I will put it. So get ready. Because I might swear. Especially if I eat a shitload of food that is bad for me (see what I did there? Where I swore after I said I might swear? I won't normally swear. But I might. So deal with it)

The thing is that I lost 75 pounds way back in 2005. I did it on Weight Watchers. Then I got cancer and have been battling it on and off ever since. I've used it as an excuse, I've eaten much food. I've exercised on and off. And now I am back to my original weight from 2005. That is not tremendous.

So instead of making excuses and being ridiculous about it, which I've been doing since I joined Weight Watchers again in October of 2010 only to get really obsessed with crap food and gain 35 pounds (don't judge me), I'm going to tell the world (or the 32.5 people that might ever read this, but just let me pretend) about it so I have a large amount of accountability (I'm trying to avoid shitload. I don't know why I feel like that is the best way to demonstrate a large amount rather than just saying large amount).


I suck at sticking to things. I'm gonna keep this blog simple so that I'm not afraid of it. That is all.

Love,
Annie

P.S. I'll add more about me later. I have to go to bed now.